Hello, I'm Peter Snow. Here on Tomorrow's World we bring you the story of how the BBC has tried to replace Gordon the Gopher. By the way I like women with big, you know |
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Hello, I'm Peter Snow. Here on Tomorrow's World we bring you the story of how the BBC has tried to replace Gordon the Gopher. By the way I like women with big, you know |
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Hi, I'm Philip Schofield. All that stuff you heard about Dr. Dolittle is just a cover. I need a new animal partner otherwise its ten more series of 'Talking Telephone Numbers', help me the noises in my head have started again |
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We sent Philippa Forrester to a top secret lab to find out what's going on.
She found a team of top-class boffins earning upwards of £12,000 a year putting their collective genius to the task.
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Hi, scientists have spent the last six years developing artificial lifeforms for Philip Schofield. This parrot was a first attempt. Things were looking promising during tests using Andi Peters, until there was a fault in the bird's personality chip and he pecked the power crazed presenter to a mushy pulp. |
| Next they tried this appealing dolphin. However test presenter Andy Crane was unable to spend long periods of time submerged underwater and he drowned, utterly. The dolphin did not need to spend so long submerged, he just did for a laugh. |  |
But finally a new artificial lifeform was developed which can now be revealed for the first time.
| Forrester - So Philip, what do
you think of your new partner, Millie the Mammoth?
Schofield - I think she's "tusk" the job, ha, ha, ha, ha. |
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